Crazy thing happened at Universals Mardi Gras or Hey you can’t Do that!!!

| April 3, 2008

Hi folks, I just want to add an experience I encountered while attending Mardi Gras on Saturday evening for the Heart concert.

I decided after touring the park for a little while that it might be a good idea to go find a bathroom before the Mardi Gras parade started. As you get older you will learn if you are at a place in time, that you find you are all alone and trying to save a really good spot to view a parade. You must go to the BATHROOM before you take on the task of waiting and saving your spot. Now it is not as important to you if you are with others. Then you can say “could you watch my spot please I am going to run over to the bathroom”. See that is so much easier to do. No pre-planning is involved and you can pretty much drink liquids as much as you want while waiting for the event to happen. This is not the case when you have no buddy system in place. On occassions like that you need to plan things out way ahead of the event.

Intake of fluids is the key to the whole plan. Drinking even one whole bottle of water to far in advance of an event can throw off your whole plan of attack. Timing on when you actual GO TO THE BATHROOM is key to a well executed plan that allows you to view the event or in this case parade.

Now mind you there are two strategies to going to the bathroom. There is the male strategy of walk in to the bathroom, walk up to a urinal and go to the bathroom, then exit the bathroom after washing your hands.  In a Mens room you never usually have to wait in a line, except if it is like half time at a football game. In that case you execute your plan by leaving your seat early so you can  attend your planned urinal halftime ritual and there is never usually a problem. Then there is the female strategy, which almost always involves A LINE THAT MUST BE STOOD IN FOR YOU TO GO.  You say why is this always the case anywhere you GO. (Did you get that play on words there). Ok I have the answer to the reason this happens all around the world. MEN ARE THE ONES THAT HAVE TO BE DESIGNING THESE RESTROOMS. There is no way a woman that is designing a building is going to make the ladies room smaller than a mens room. In a mens room you can have a room that has 4 stalls and 4 urinals and you will have a good working no line bathroom. Put 6 stalls in a Ladies room and you will most times have a line form anytime of the day and especially at peak high traffic times of the day. You say why 6 and not 8, well that is because a stall takes up more floor space than a urinal. It’s just physics of a bathroom stall there is no other explanation for it. So a woman must not only figure out it is time to go to the bathroom, they have to budget the time factor of waiting in the line. This leaves them a comfortable wait that will get them to their goal to GO.  So if you have read this far you are saying right about now, BAWB what the heck does this have to do with going to Universal. Well here is my story:

I have picked the Bathroom that I am going to use. I look around and as usual there is no line coming out of the mens room. I glance over at the ladies room as I walk in and there is a HUGE line that is coming out of the ladies room. I think to myself “THANK GOD A MAN Designed these bathrooms. “( I do feel bad for the ladies in the line which is my first reaction anytime I see a line coming out a ladies room door). I walk up to my urinal and thank the bathroom god for my nice urinal that he or she has provided me. I finish up and at this point we will forever refer what happens next as “THE UNIVERSALS BATHROOM INCIDENT” Now is a good time to start playing that dramatic deep movie suspense music. DA DA DA. AND as I turn around to head over to the sink I hear these words echo through the restroom” ALL CLEAR!!!!!! I think to myself that is not something you hear everyday in a restroom. I look around and near the entrance I see a man yell again “ALL CLEAR” out the entrance to the restroom. The next thing I see is a WOMAN (insert a wide eyed look for me here) run into the mens room and run right into the just vacated stall. I must tell you she had a big smile on her face. I think it was because she just made history in figuring out how to beat the LADIES ROOM LINE PROBLEM. I continue washing my hands and after a minute I hear the toilet flush and she runs back out of the mens room. I felt like yelling to her “HEY YOU BEAT THE LINE PROBLEM BUT YOU DIDN”T WASH YOUR HANDS” but I didn’t say it.

I walked out of the mens room and as I walked past the line for the ladies room I glanced over and some of the woman were talking. I can only guess they were saying to each other. “I never thought to do that or Hey why haven’t we ever thought to do that or WHY DO MEN ALWAYS DESIGN THE RESTROOMS”

ANYWAY here is my point to the story. WAIT FOR IT!!  Just a little longer… almost there…

#1 Mens rooms are easier to use than ladies rooms. #2 Universal might want to figure out a way to have additional portable bathrooms available for these events. I saw the same thing during the Halloween horror nights.(I hope the #1 and # 2 joke didn’t get lost amongst the points I was making above. LOL)

I wrote this for my wife Dianar who has to always wait in these lines.  I am typing this at 4 am and she is sound asleep not aware of what I am about to say. Hey Honey! I think I found a real solution to your having to wait in a line in the future. Or maybe not. It is your choice now. And for woman around the world, more of you need to take up architecture as a profession and design the ladies rooms larger. Please leave the plans for mens rooms alone our space is JUST RIGHT!

Category: Editorials, Podcasts, Universal Orlando

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  • mommyceratops

    Oh Bob you are too funny!
    I would be happy to be you side kick to hold your spots for you anytime!! I would love to work with you!! (ahmmm Pete?! what do you think)

  • elemusing

    BAWB!! You just told the whole world my BATHROOM strategy!!! I always go into the men’s room if there is a long line at the ladies. ALWAYS. I just make sure no body is in there and I run in and go. Seriously. And by the way – I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog – you are so funny. It is nice to hear you get through the whole story without one interruption!
    ;-) (No offense to the rest of the gang.)

  • LilGMom

    Oh my!!! I have been brave enough to do that at rest stops and gas stations but never at a theme park, even with my husband running interference. :) Too funny.

  • mandymommy4

    I did this with one of my kids, she was standing their crying b/c she was starting to wet herself she had to go so bad. None of the other ladies looked very sympathetic so I just peaked in the mens room to find it EMPTY so we took advantage! I also have to say that I attend a huge womens conference every year and there are 10k+ women in these arenas. They turn all but one mens rooms into ladies rooms! I have a policy that in these situation pregnant women and little kids doiing the pee pee dance get pushed to the front of the line, a little kiindness go a long way!

  • elemusing

    ah yes, the infamous pee pee dance. There ough to be a law about that – pregnant women and pee pee dancers should always get precedence! :P

  • maiziezoe

    Back in my younger-concert-going-and-drinking days, I used the mens bathroom often. :)

    Great blog, Bob!

  • jamieT

    Bob, you are sunshine on this grey sinus headache infested day!!!!

    Everyone on the DIS needs to be nicer to you! You are the BEST story teller!!!!!

  • Joseph Carter

    Those are words of wisdom Bob. Great Blog.

  • ragtopday

    Oh, I have totally used the men’s room when the women’s line is ridiculous! When you gotta go, you gotta go!

  • dizneedoll

    “It is nice to hear you get through the whole story without one interruption!
    (No offense to the rest of the gang.)”

    I know huh?? Imagine Bawb trying to tell this story on the podcast!! With all the wisecracks from the rest of the gang, poor Bawb would never have gotten to the end of the story!! Thank goodness for the blog! And yes, I admit that I too have used the men’s room! Thanks for the great blog post Bawb and at 4am too!!

  • Tonya2426

    Add me to the growing list of women who have used the men’s room in a pinch. When a girl’s got to go – she’s got to GO.

  • grumpyfan

    Bathroom space is usually a second or third thought in most buildings and parks, so it’s not surprising that it’s never big enough for the women. Another issue is that they make the rooms the same size, when normally, the men’s can be smaller to allow the womens to be bigger, but this doesn’t always happen. I’ve always wondered why they don’t make a large number of unisex, single user or family restrooms. Of course this would require more space, but certainly help.

    On a related note, for those who have been to Universal, Sea World and Disney, who has the better bathroom situation? Who has the most, whose is cleanest and whose is best placed? I’ve only been to Disney and SeaWorld, but I think Disney’s is the best, but then I’m not a woman.

  • safetymom

    Thanks Bob. I have been at Disney when they took over the mens room for the women.

    I think it is tied between Universal and Disney on the bathroom situation. Some are always very clean and others always look like a tornado swept through the bathroom.

  • jpeka65844

    OMG! I love it! And I’d totally do the same thing if hubby were willing to help out. Even if he isn’t I don’t really have a problem with doing my business IN A STALL next to a dude. I mean, it’s not like you can see the guy next door…..

    I haven’t been to Universal and can’t weigh in on the b’room situation BUT, I do believe the worst bathroom on all of Disney property is the one at the Liberty Tree Tavern. There’s no changing place and only TWO stalls?? We had to execute a standing diaper change that didn’t end well…….

  • michael_bluth


    i think you need to start moderating the blog.