We started making our annual pilgrimage to Disney 20 years ago when the kids were 2, 4 and 5. Our earlier visits included the mandatory visit to Boca Raton where my father-in-law had migrated after marrying a lady he met when visiting his brother in Florida.
At the time we had a minivan. They didn’t let you leave the maternity ward without one after you had 2.3 children.
YAY!! Let’s drive to Florida!! What fun that will be. We can look for out of state license plates for 20 hours!! Oh boy!!
I begin hoarding cereal prizes. Nothing like a Lucky Charms keychain to keep the kids occupied for hours on end. I buy puzzle and coloring books and trays for the kids to work on.
Let’s do the math. For a two week trip with three kids, that’s 42 outfits. But wait, it’s November. What if it gets chilly? Let’s throw in 15 pairs of long pants and 9 sweatshirts. Socks, we need lots of socks. For the girls there are socks that match their outfits, for everyone there are extras just in case it rains and their shoes get wet. Let’s toss in 60 pairs of socks, and while we’re at it, 12 pairs of shoes. Must not forget undies and jammies, a couple of dress-up outfits, bathing suits, hats, hair ribbons and barrettes. I run around like a madwoman, making sure that everyone has a complete ensemble for every occasion and for all kinds of weather.
After carefully packing 237+ articles of clothing for the kids, it’s time to pack for myself. This starts the “does this still fit and/or does it make me look fat” ritual. After weeding out the clothes that someone shrunk while I was sleeping, I pick out a few stunning outfits with Dynasty era shoulder pads. Mustn’t forget my fanny pack. I’m a Mom, it’s required.
Snacks, gotta have snacks. We’ll drive through New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, DC, Virginia (could that state possibly be any longer), North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia and finally Florida. The thought that we could stop for food crosses my mind, but what if a famine strikes the minute we leave our driveway? I don’t want to risk starvation so I stock up on cookies, crackers and juice.
Let’s move onto Band-Aids, Neosporin, Tylenol, toothbrushes, toothpaste, maps, tissues, flashlight, umbrellas, paper towels, maps, hotel confirmations, wet wipes and sunscreen. I bring the minivan to the car wash and make sure it’s clean inside and out. I stop the mail and newspapers and bring the pooch to the kennel.
All of the kid’s clothes are packed, each has an activity bag and the cooler is ready to go. My hair is sticking out in all directions and I’m now a stinky, sweaty, wrinkled mess.
Ladies, you know where this is heading. My husband goes into the bedroom and five minutes later proudly declares that he’s packed and ready to go. To this day he doesn’t understand why I punched him.
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